Olesea Nastas: “Motherhood is my great claim from life, I like to be a mother too much”
EA.MD: Olesea Nastas is a lawyer, blogger and mother of two wonderful children. She tells that she wanted to become a judge when she was a fifth-grader, later when she was a first-year student she wanted to become a lawyer, and during her master’s degree course – a diplomat. Nowadays, she strongly believes that there are jobs by vocation. We are talking leisurely with Olesea Nastas about professional vocation, but also about the vocation to be a mother.
In life, important things happen at all the right times.
My first child was born when I was 19. It was an unintended pregnancy, but a very wanted child. We were already making marriage and college plans. The pregnancy hastened things someway, though I did not go through absolutely necessary stages – studies, job and other details. Now that I look at Oscar, it is so great, and it is a palpable example that things in our lives happen when they are needed, not when they are scheduled. Three years later, I felt I was ready for the second child. His sister is the opposite of her brother, she is super-energetic and gives me a rough time. Oscar is an obedient and loyal child, he is very understanding. Medeea needs 15 minutes only to choose a dress and then only under pressure from me.
I’ve understood that I am not the kind of woman to stay at home.
There is no ideal interval between children, there is only the perfect time for a parent to have another responsibility. Everything is never perfect to date, neither in financial, nor in real estate and career terms. Beyond that, I am scared of the word “career”. It is difficult to be a mother and dedicate yourself to your professional growth at the same time. The simple going out of the house is a big dilemma: one has moods, another demands something – so it is tricky, but everything is compensated. Having a job, you are more responsible, you arrange yourself, socialize whether you like it or not, when staying at home you are more negligent. This is where the pessimism comes from. I honestly believe that it is your failure as a woman when you just stay at home.
Earlier I have learned some lessons which I analyze now.
I think I am a little old-fashioned in a way. I like to keep traditions, cook often in the vineyard, make homemade gravy. But I have found a balance. If you ask me now, YES, the maternity came early to me. And if I gave my daughter an advice, I would tell her to wait, but if she decides so, I would support it – it will be her decision she has to take. I want to raise them in this spirit. There are many advantages in these experiences: sometimes you learn everything on the fly. I, being a Libran, weigh everything permanently. Well, here I did not have the time to weigh too much and maybe it was good. If you make a mistake once, you learn something, it is your right and you go on. There were lessons learned too soon, some lessons I analyze now. Everyone tells me I am going be a young grandmother, and that just delights me.
Motherhood is my great claim from life.
Nicolae Dabija said at a school symposium: “My parents, when they sent me from home, said to me: ‘If you want to live a happy life, you have to be a good and diligent person’. I teach my children to work: a good grade is his as well as a bad grade. The bad grade affects him, and to get a good grade he needs to try harder, that’s what he learns. The biggest investment is in the education of our children. Oscar is very responsible in this respect, I hope I can teach Medeea the same thing.
Women have a beautiful but also a hard part in children’s upbringing.
An English pediatrician has said that it is useless to try to educate the child, if we do not educate ourselves – no matter how hard you try, the child will copy you. It is good to arouse in children a desire for something more, it is good for them to have a vision, a big dream … For example, a school abroad … and if things in our country will go on the same way, we will try to offer it to our children. Every day I follow the principle: if you like something, you can apply it to your child at home. Mothers have, above all, this purpose: to educate, to create traditions, to generate trends, to inspire. We try to teach them the spirit of belonging and the fact that if you do not like something, it is not good to do it to the others.
“We have to make the most of our potential.
I think everyone is born on earth for a certain purpose – we have to find our niche where we are the best and make the most of it. The inner voice tells you a lot, the potential can lift you up – when you know it, you can do a lot but only working. It is hard to be in the legal system in our country, knowing the reality in the Republic of Moldova. The corrupt system in society, in the judicial system has been and will be an impediment, but I believe that in order to be good in any field, you need to invest in your education and growth.
“Bureaucracy is a mechanism that crushes you every day and erodes you permanently.
That is the reason for my resignation from the public system. I have realized that work in the public system depends on many people who, although they have optimized processes and procedures, cannot overcome bureaucracy, and it will never die. It is a mechanism that crushes you every day and erodes you permanently. In the private system, it is simple: you have a boss, you have concrete instructions, and you do it; plus you have a direct feedback. In the public system, there are 10 bosses. If every civil servant did his or her job well and conscientiously, then many things would go really well.
Author: Nadia Darie Photo by Elena Andronache